What if that fluttery, nervous feeling in your stomach wasn't a mistake?
Rollo May was a famous psychologist who believed that being human is a bit like being an explorer in a land without a map. He taught that anxiety and fear are not things to be hidden away, but are actually clues to how much we care about our freedom.
Imagine standing on the very edge of a high diving board for the first time. The water looks far away, your knees feel a bit like jelly, and there is a strange buzzing in your ears.
Most people would tell you to just "be brave" or "stop worrying." But Rollo May would have looked at you and smiled. He would say that the jelly-knees and the buzzing are proof that you are about to do something big.
Imagine you are an explorer in the 1950s. While most people are trying to make life as safe and predictable as possible, you are sitting in a quiet office in New York, telling people that it's okay to feel 'shook up' by life. You see the world not as a machine to be fixed, but as a story being written.
Rollo May was born in 1909 in a small town in Ohio. As a boy, he loved the outdoors and spent a lot of time exploring the woods and rivers.
His family life was often loud and difficult, which made him wonder why people act the way they do. He wanted to understand why some people seem to give up when things get hard, while others find a way to grow even stronger.
Finn says:
"If Rollo was lonely in those woods as a kid, maybe that's why he grew up wanting to understand people so much. Sometimes being alone is where the best questions start."
The Long Wait
When Rollo was a young man, he moved to Greece to teach English. He fell in love with the mountains and the ancient stories of heroes and gods.
But then, something scary happened. He got very sick with a disease called tuberculosis. In those days, there wasn't a quick pill to fix it.
Before he became a psychologist, Rollo May was a very talented artist! He loved to paint watercolors of the places he visited. He believed that looking at art was a way to help heal the mind.
He had to stay in a hospital called a sanatorium for three years. For much of that time, he didn't know if he would live or die. He spent his days lying in bed, watching the sun move across the wall.
It was during this long, quiet wait that he realized something important. The people who got better weren't necessarily the ones with the best medicine. They were the ones who decided that their lives still had meaning, even if they were stuck in a hospital bed.
Anxiety is the dizziness of freedom.
The Mystery of Anxiety
Most people think anxiety is a monster that lives under the bed. We are told to chase it away or ignore it. Rollo May had a different idea.
He believed there are two kinds of anxiety. The first is what he called neurotic anxiety. This is the kind that makes us feel frozen or stuck because we are worrying about things that aren't actually happening.
Anxiety is a warning light that tells us something is wrong and we need to stop or hide until we feel safe again.
Anxiety is like a 'You Are Here' dot on a map. It shows us where the most important growth is happening in our lives.
But the second kind is normal anxiety. This is the feeling you get when you realize you have a choice to make. It’s the "dizziness" you feel when you stand in front of a blank piece of paper or decide whether to tell the truth.
Rollo believed that if you never felt this kind of anxiety, you wouldn't be growing. It is the sign that you are using your will to change your world.
Mira says:
"I like the idea of 'dizzy freedom.' It's like when I have five different colors of paint and I can't decide which one to use first. It's a happy-scary feeling."
Courage is Not Fearlessness
We often see movies where the hero is never afraid. They walk into dragon caves with a straight face and steady hands.
Rollo May thought that was boring and not very true. He defined courage as the ability to move forward even when you are shaking with fear.
Courage is not the absence of despair: it is, rather, the capacity to move ahead in spite of despair.
To Rollo, the most important kind of courage was the courage to create. This isn't just about painting pictures or writing songs. It is the courage to build your own life and be your own person.
It means choosing your own path even when everyone else is walking in the other direction. It is the act of bringing something new into the world that wasn't there before.
The next time you feel nervous about something, try to give that feeling a shape and a color. Is it a spiky red ball? A swirling blue cloud? Now, imagine that shape is actually a battery. What could you power with that nervous energy if you plugged it in?
Freedom and Destiny
Rollo May talked a lot about two big words: freedom and destiny. They might seem like opposites, but he believed they were partners.
Your destiny is the set of things you can't change: where you were born, how tall you are, or the fact that it’s raining today. It is the hand of cards you are dealt in a game.
Finn says:
"So, my 'destiny' is that I have to go to school, but my 'freedom' is choosing what to talk about at lunch? That makes the day feel a bit more like mine."
Freedom, however, is how you choose to play those cards. You can't stop the rain, but you can choose to dance in it, build a fort inside, or complain about the mud.
He believed that the more we understand the things we can't change, the more power we have to change the things we can.
The Journey of Courage and Anxiety
The Creative Fire
Rollo had a special name for the intense energy inside us that can be both good and bad. He called it the daimonic.
Think of it like a big, crackling fire. If the fire is controlled, it keeps the house warm and cooks your food. This is the energy we use to create art or solve problems.
The word 'daimonic' comes from an ancient Greek word, 'daimon.' To the Greeks, this wasn't a monster, but a spirit or a source of inspiration that lived inside a person and pushed them toward their destiny.
But if the fire gets out of control, it can burn things down. This is the same energy that turns into anger or being mean. Rollo believed our job isn't to put the fire out, but to learn how to guide it.
By acknowledging our big feelings instead of hiding them, we can use that energy to do amazing things. We turn our "scary" feelings into creative fuel.
The creative artist is those who can live with anxiety even though it be fearful.
Why Rollo May Still Matters
Today, we are often told that we should be happy all the time. If we feel sad or nervous, we think something is wrong with us.
Rollo May reminds us that being human is messy. It involves feeling small, feeling scared, and making mistakes. But he also shows us that this messiness is exactly where the beauty is.
When you feel that flutter in your stomach tomorrow, you don't have to wish it away. You can notice it, name it, and wonder: "What exciting thing am I about to do?"
Something to Think About
If you were completely unafraid for just one hour, what would you do?
There is no right answer here. Some people might want to climb a mountain, while others might finally say something kind to a person they find intimidating. Just notice how different your 'fearless self' feels from your 'normal self.'
Questions About Psychology
Was Rollo May a doctor?
Why did he care so much about art?
Is it okay to want to be less anxious?
The Adventure of You
Rollo May didn't offer any easy shortcuts to happiness. Instead, he offered something better: a way to feel powerful even when things are hard. He reminds us that your life is your own masterpiece, and even the shadows in a painting are there to help the light shine brighter.